


A Bouquet of Remorse

by Southern_Italy_Romano



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 03:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10208447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southern_Italy_Romano/pseuds/Southern_Italy_Romano
Summary: This is my first fanfic, please leave feedback!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [livthekitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/livthekitten/gifts).



It was early winter on the Starkiller Base. Pale moonlight shine down onto the ice planet and twinkled upon the snow and ice. Wind was dancing with the trees happily. Snow was softly falling and frost decorated windows all throughout the ship. The whole planet was quiet aside from the buzzing of machinery and the sighs of a young woman standing in from of the door to Kylo Ren's quarters. She wore a long black dress that swept the floor she walked upon and her (h/l) (h/c) hair was messy and tangles from stress and restlessness.  
  
"Here goes nothing" she whispered under her breath as she entered the room of the powerful Jedi. In her hands she held an envelope and a simple bouquet. She set the envelope and flowers in front of the door to Kylo's bedroom.  
  
"Goodbye..." She sighed softly and left the room smiling remorsefully. She walked quietly towards an exit to the cold, outside world with her head down.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kylo awoke at the sound of his door opening. He grabbed his saber and sat up in his bed, listening for danger. Not too long later he heard footsteps approaching his door, a soft voice whispered. He leapt out of bed, grabbed his mask and put it on. As he approached the door, he heard the intruder leave.  
  
"Hmm..." Kylo frowned and opened his door. There was no sign of any disturbance, only an envelope and flowers. He picked the two items up and looked at them curiously. He set the bouquet on a table and opened the envelope to examine the letter inside.  
  
_To my dark prince alone in his tower,_  
  
_I cannot continue on like this. My heart cannot take any more doses of your addictive poison. I still remember the day you came into the infirmary with fresh burns littering your body. Nobody wanted to come near you, they were all so afraid. I was still a new recruit, and I had no clue who you were. I worked to heal your wounds as quickly as possible. Every time your face grimiced in pain, I wanted to cry for your health. I could not stand seeing your beautiful face contort into such expressions.  I cleaned your wounds every day for a month after the day you entered that room. I even looked for ways to keep them from getting infected without hurting you. Even after you were all healed up, I volunteered to bring you meals, bring you medicine and to wash your clothes. I even left small boxes of books in front of your door._  
  
_The evening you invited me to eat with you was the day I realized how far I had fallen into the rabbit hole of your love. You didn't talk a whole lot, yet you still made many wonderful  conversations with me. When I had to leave my heart yearned to be near you. I silently hoped you would invite me back, but you never did... I never saw you again after that night... As the days passed, my heart broke more and more. Only one week ago I realized my mistake; I had forgotten that you are a powerful Jedi who has the power of life and death at your fingertips. You have no need for a lowly nurse who could not have anyone, not even herself._  
  
_These flowers all hold special meanings. The acacia means I have concealed my love for you, the daffodils show that my love for you is unrequited by you, the cyclamen mean goodbye. I hope you find them as beautiful as I did._  
  
_With love and sorrow,_  
  
_(Y/N)_  
  
The paper fell from his hands and he ran out of his room with countless thoughts filling his mind. He ran into a random direction and angrily mumbled "Where would that stupid woman go-" He stopped and ran with purpose to where he thought she may be.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
As (Y/N) walked to the closest door she saw a group of storm troopers talking in a small circle. She tried to walk past them unnoticed, but her efforts failed.

  
"Hey!" One of the storm troopers yelled at her "Is your name (Y/N)?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" (Y/N) looked around for an escape route  
  
"We need you to come with us, Commander Ren is looking for you" The storm trooper said as he reached for her arm.  
  
(Y/N) ran for the exit as fast as she could. The storm troopers ran after her, and they were much more agile and quick than her. She needed an escape, and fast.  
  
She ran into the nearby infirmary and blocked the door. She sat down for just a moment to catch her breath. Tears fell from her tired, puffy eyes. She stood up and walked to the bed that Ren rested on the day she tended to his burns. A guttural cry threatened to erupt from her throat, but she choked it down along with more tears.  
  
She walked to a nearby medicine cabinet and reached for a random bottle of pills. Before her hand could reach them however, a dark gloved hand grabbed her wrist and spun her around.  
  
"What in the stars do you think you're doing?!" A deep mechanical voice yelled  
  
"I..." (Y/N) shook with anxiety and tried pulling away from him.  
  
"STOP! Do you have any idea how much frustration you've caused me tonight?" He hissed at her, his voice breaking.  
  
"It's not like you care! Leave me be!!" She cried out with tears streaking her face. (Y/N) collapsed on the floor and whispered "Do you have any idea how it feels to look at the person who stole your heart and have to continue pretending you don't care about them?"  
  
Mechanical hissing came from above (Y/N). When she looked up Kylo she saw his tear dried face stare back at her sorrowful. He kneeled next to her and pulled her into his arms.  
  
"I do know!... And I'm sorry. I do care about you, I just don't want to hurt you. My heart is black and corrupted, yours is so pure... " He whispered into her ear. (Y/N)'s eyes widened and she wrapped her arms around him, knowing how much he had to swallow his pride just for him to admit his feelings.  
  
Kylo broke the hug and stood up to leave, but before he could take one step (Y/N) grabbed the edge of his pant leg. "Please stay... I don't care that you think you're corrupted. I see a person who is afraid to feel love. I don't know why, but I love you..." She mumbled.  
  
Kylo sat down next to her again and allowed her to rest her head upon his shoulder. "You need to sleep (Y/N), it's been a long day"  
  
"Please just hold me until I fall" (Y/N) said with slight drowsiness in her voice. Kylo chuckled and told her he would.  
  
When (Y/N) did eventually fall asleep Kylo put his mask upon his head and picked her up bridal style. He carried her back to his room and placed her on his bed. When she was under the blankets and comfortable he took his mask off and walked out of his room. Before he left he looked back at her peaceful resting body. He walked back over to her and kissed her forehead gently.  
  
"Goodnight (Y/N)" He whispered and he left the room, falling asleep on his couch.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, please leave feedback!


End file.
